Acceptance ch 15

15. Best Friends

Tarin is, of course, overjoyed that I've changed my mind. He readily agrees to my conditions; Declan and Jowan watching, time limit before we wake him up, and if it seems to be getting too dangerous, they'll stop him immediately. Sable already has enough trouble with her nightmares, we don't need to make them worse or add a possessed best friend for her to feel guilty about.

"Not that I lack confidence in your abilities or anything," I assure him. "I just know how tricky and powerful demons can be."

"I understand, Commander." He's practically bouncing he's excited.

"Tarin." I wait until he looks at me. "Good luck, and be careful."

"I will," he nods, expression solemn but eyes shining. He doesn't care how dangerous this is, I realize as I watch him leave. He doesn't care about the risks that are inherently higher with Dreamer abilities just by nature of what they are. He just cares that he can help Sable, or at least try this one last thing.

Maker above, I hope the risk is worth it.

oOo 

Between the two of them, Declan and Jowan come up with a very thorough list of signs something's gone wrong, the things that could go wrong, and how to deal with those things should the worst happen. Tarin agrees with everything on their list, from complications through solutions. He looks a little nervous as the reality of what might happen sets in, but still is determined to help.

"We've been best friends for almost a decade, Commander. I'm not going to give up helping her out of fear of what might happen to me."

I smile at that. "She's lucky to have you."

"The luck goes both ways," he corrects me softly. "She's helped me before, too."

"One question for you," I begin as we head down the hallway. "Does she know you're doing this? Or are you just gonna show up in her dreams and somehow convince her you're real?"

"We've talked about it as a last resort option," Tarin replies. "But as far as telling her specifically that you said yes, or even were thinking about it? No, I haven't. I know Sable, Commander. She'll tell me not to risk it just because she's having some bad dreams. Never mind that these dreams are bad enough she she wakes up screaming, never mind that I'm sincerely beginning to worry about a demon taking advantage of her, never mind any of the danger she's in. She's more worried about me." He gives a small, soft laugh. "But I guess that comes with being best friends; I worry about her more than myself, and she worries more about me."

"That is usually the way of it," I agree, opening a door and letting him enter first. "I'm like that with all my best friends."

"You have more than one?" Tarin laughs.

"Yep. Even if we leave aside that Jowan was a 'best friend' before we realized we loved each other, I can't label a 'best' between Zev, Sig, and Nate," I shrug sheepishly. "I'd go to the same lengths for all three, I tease all three equally, and they tease me back. Nathaniel may be more subtle and 'choose your battles' about it than Sig, and Zev may be half a world away right now, but all of them could qualify as my best friend so I refuse to pick a favorite."

"And that wouldn't have anything to do with the fact two of them are trained assassins, would it?" Jowan teases from the corner of the room.

"Oh, absolutely nothing," I deadpan. "You all set?"

He nods. "Declan will be here here any minute with Sable."

Tarin frowns. "You're bringing her in here?"

"Yes." Jowan runs his fingers through his hair as he explains, "It'll be easier to watch for clues things are going wrong if you're both  in the same room. Less spreading ourselves thin and eliminates  the need for a go-between running back and forth to check on things." He raises an eyebrow as it dawns on him. "You haven't told her you're doing this."

"She'd be... less than receptive to me taking such a risk for her. Especially springing it on her like I'm going to have to do now."

"Better she knows it's you and not some demon come after her, though, aye?" Declan poins out as he enters the room, Sable following close behind him.

She shoots Tarin a questioning look.

"The Commander said I could, you know, Dream. To help you," he says, hands fiddling with his robes in nervous anticipation of her reaction.

Sable makes a few rapid, almost angry, gestures and Tarin sighs.

"I know the risks," he replies. "I just happen to think you're worth facing them."

She half-smiles, brushes hair out of her eyes, and nods her thanks, then makes one last questioning gesture with her hands.

"Yes, I'm sure," Tarin promises, before glancing at Declan and Jowan. "Let's do this. Before somebody tries to change my mind." He pokes Sable in the ribs and shoots her a teasing smile. 

She just rolls her eyes and very deliberately kicks off her shoes. She climbs into one of the room's beds and snuggles in under the covers. Now all we can do is wait.

oOo 

Once Sable is asleep, Tarin settles on the bed next to hers. "Wish me luck," he says, and I pretend not to notice the flicker of doubt that dashes briefly trough his eyes.

"You won't need it," I assure him. "Just stay wary, and focused on helping Sable, and you'll be fine." I still can't help but wish, as he lays back and closes his eyes, that we knew more about Dreamers. Aside from legends of Tevinter somniari slaying enemies through their dreams alone, and warnings of how bad a Dreamer abomination would be, there's not  much to be found on the ability. Which means Tarin's been forced to learn through  trial and error what he can and can't do. Being the cautious soul that he is, this little adventure is the farthest he's ever pushed, to my knowledge. That's the main reason I was so reluctant to let him do this; we have no idea what's going to happen. No previous experience to draw on, no inkling of what he'll find or will have to do to accomplish his goal. It's nerve-wracking. I plunk down next to Jowan, my hands unconsciously twisting together with the nerves until he reaches over and links his fingers between mine, holding my hand still and gently rubbing circles on the back with his thumb.

I shoot him a grateful smile. "I hope I made the right call."

"You did," he assures me, eyes fixed on Tarin's face to watch for a sign something's gone wrong. I squeeze his hand, grateful for this hint he trusts his own judgment again. After Melita's betrayal, his self doubt was back in spades. But he seems to have regained his confidence.

"Wonder what he'll find..." I murmur.

"My hope is for somethin' easy tae chase off," Declan chips in. "A lone despair demon at worst, but ideally just old, bad memories that he can seal off."

"That would be ideal," I agree. "Easy fix, minimal danger for them both, and then she'll never have trouble again."

The words have barely left my mouth when Sable whimpers, Tarin flinches, and a sinking feeling in my gut chides that it's never, ever that easy.